After everything, I'm still here.

impromptu

You never know what is going to happen day to day.

Tuesday I went to classes in the morning. All fine and dandy. I was planning on coming home after my last day class and do some reading before my night class. No biggie. I was also planning on cleaning on Wednesday in preparation for Amanda's visit on Friday since I have classes on Thursday and also my homework. Good plan. Or so I thought...

I came home on Tuesday to find the mail waiting for me. I received a letter from my friend, Melissa, whom I have known for 15 years this fall. We met freshman year in high school, and we were even roommates in college for the first semester. I opened it up and pictures of her cute baby girl fell out. I was so happy!! I like getting mail, but it's such a bonus to have pics too!! Only, this letter was not a happy letter.

In her letter she wrote to her grandmother's long-distance friends and relatives to inform us that she had passed away last week. I was lucky enough to not only know her because of Melissa's family gatherings, but I also lived with her for 4 months while I did some urban teaching in Indianapolis. It was so sad and hard to read that letter through. I called my mom, got her voicemail, and couldn't even talk clearly to let her know. I just hung up the phone because I was crying so hard. I then called hubby. Same thing, only I was able to talk a little better than on the phone with my mom's voicemail. Hubby had said what I was thinking: that I should go to the funeral on Wednesday. Instead of reading for my night class, I spent the afternoon coordinating what my plan was for leaving and coming back, and how to take care of the dog and times of departure and coming back home. I also looked up her obituary on the web to get the times and location of the funeral services. In the letter Melissa had just mentioned to keep her in our thoughts at the time of the burial since they understood that we are long distance and unable to make the trip. I didn't want to bother Melissa with asking for times and details, so I did the research on my own. Wasn't that hard since I know where to look.

I am very glad I made the impromptu trip to pay my respects. She was a sweet and loving woman and would help you in any way she could. I remember talking to her just before my wedding and she said she was unable to make the trip, but she sends her love and to make sure I gave hubby a big hug and kiss from her. She was so sweet. She was a total grandma. When you think of classic grandmas, she is it. She had stories, she took care of you when you're sick and just being near her made you feel better. It was so comforting to be able to live with her because when I got sick she was there to offer help and kindness. I also enjoyed listening to her stories. She also always watched "The A-Team" and "Walker, Texas Ranger" and her soaps. I'll always remember that. Oh, and of course, "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy!"

I'm glad she's no longer in pain. I think death is worse on the living. The loved ones that pass away are gone. I mean, their spirit will always be around, but they have moved on, depending on what you believe in, to heaven, to another life, or just simply no longer. I believe in heaven. I believe she's up in heaven with her husband that passed away 11 years ago and that they are sharing their stories and love again. It's comforting to believe in something that feels so good. It makes the living better able to deal with losing a loved one. I don't think you want to just say goodbye and not think that the loved one is nowhere good. I mean, you want to believe that they are no longer suffering and that they are somewhere where they can be at peace. It's hard on the living because they are left with an emptiness and void that the person left. You can only hope that your time with them was filled with love and happiness and meaning so you have something to remember them by.

So, my trip to and from Indianapolis within a 24 hour time frame was worth it. I wish it could have been under better circumstances, but nonetheless, I said my goodbye and spent a little time with Melissa and her family before heading out on the road for the 5 and half hour trip home. Hopefully, I can make some time to go back down again soon to visit just for happy times. I just hope I don't get another sad letter before that time.

posted by Julie @ 10:10 PM